Strategy #6: Your Fears (Fervent Bible Study Blog #7)
I saw the car coming. Five years ago when I was driving down to San Diego with my kids in the carpool lane, I saw the car next to me swerve into my lane. That’s when I started to slow. The next thing I knew, that car bounced off of the wall beside it and was headed back in my direction. My van was turned and was hit by an oncoming truck. I walked away feeling not too bad. The issues came four weeks later. I can’t describe how horrific the descent into brain trauma is, but if you imagine having constant head pain, not being able to focus on any screen, and at times not being able to even listen to people talk, well, that gives you a glimpse of it.
Two weeks ago I didn’t see the car coming. I was turning left on a green light and he was going so fast he seemed to come out of nowhere. He ran the red light and hit my car with such force the truck turned my little convertible in the opposite direction. So, here I am with head pain that is getting worse daily, wondering if I will end up with brain trauma like last time.
“If I were your enemy, I’d magnify your fears, making them appear insurmountable, intimidating you with enough worries until avoiding them becomes your driving motivation. I would use anxiety to cripple you, to paralyze you, leaving you indecisive, clinging to safety and sameness, always on the defensive because of what might happen. When you hear the word faith, all I’d want you to hear is “unnecessary risk.” (Shirer 105)
Once upon a time, my biggest fear was pitching my book to a publisher. It took years to get over that fear and get to the point of believing in myself and my writing. That’s when I found a publisher. I thought it would be the best thing that ever happened to me. Instead, my sales went backward and my stress level went through the roof. My writing account was drained of money in my efforts to market my book. My account doesn’t have enough money to pay my editor let alone pay someone to design my cover and interior of my next book. I’m afraid that when it comes down to it, I won’t be able to publish the third book of the series I’m writing let alone any future books.
Having one heart attack is not good. My husband’s second heart attack seemed unavoidable since he had so many vessels clogged. I’ve researched the survival rate of three or more heart attacks. He still has three vessels blocked. The odds are not in his favor.
“The fact is this: fear is one of Satan’s primary schemes for crippling God’s people. I’m not talking about legitimate concern. I’m not talking about the protective warnings of wisdom and godly counsel. I’m talking about fear. Incessant worry. Up-all-night anxiety. Worst-case scenarios becoming the only probabilities you can think of. Fears like these, instead of simply raising our blood pressure, ought to set off some fire alarms. Why am I feeling so paralyzed like this?”
Yeah, I know fear. For a while, I feared stepping out and doing things for God. The fear now isn’t in the doing, it’s in wondering what awful things Satan will throw my way to try to stop me from doing God’s work.
How about you? Is it hard to see the other side? Try as you may, does everything always go back to “what if?”
Last night I had no answers. Only fear. Tears came as I crawled into bed.
“I don’t want this,” I whispered to my husband.
“I know,” he said with a sigh, taking my hand in his.
But this morning, I prayed. I prayed against Satan and against the fear. Right after the words, “I don’t understand it, but You do,” escaped my lips, God gave me a great revelation. He is always with me. He will never leave or forsake me. I know it’s true because I’ve lived it. When the pain was at its worst five years ago, I would turn on the Bible and fall asleep listening to it. It was the only thing that calmed my mind and heart. The pain beckons me to draw closer to Him. It’s in those moments that I imagine Him holding me. I can almost feel His soothing heartbeat and hear Him say, “Be still, my child, and know I’m God.” Funny that what I fear the most will draw me closer to the lover of my soul.
What fears do you struggle with? Will you lay them down at his feet today? Will you dare to let go of them and trust in him? What verses do you need to include in your prayer?
“Because fear is the antithesis of faith. And faith is what allows you to step foot on the soil of your destiny.” (Shirer 113)
It’s time to reclaim what the enemy has stolen, my friend. It’s time to allow faith to replace our fear.
All quotes not from the Bible are taken from:
Shirer, Priscilla. “Fervent.” B & H Publishing Group, 2015.